this is my other story

hi. it's been a while since my last post. i know there's nothing much to read here. just my other shout out.

yesterday i cry a lot. you know? being far apart is hard in your quarter of life. because you not a kid anymore, you didn't thinking of playing each of time. you are not an adult, that can build your own life. you just a teenager that needs your family attention, needs someone love. that's mean you rebel a lot, you ask for more things than you have, you always begging for attention.

yeah that's me.
in my childhood, when i'm still in primary and secondary school, i'm  just a kid with no fuss. i lead my own life. i do anything and everything just as i like. because i'm capable of doing thing. a bit independent if i could say. i don't really begging my parents. cause i felt enough for what i have.

in school i'm playing. in a holiday i'm working. i just do what i want to.

but since i decided to take this mentally psycho course, i cry a lot. not because it's a tough subject. not because i'm far from my parent. but just because, when you're not capable of doing something by yourself anymore, you felt like you lost your wing. your movement was restricted, your desire was blocked. this is when your parents became your wing. you want to hold them more. begging for more.

hey kid, you just a kid. a kid needs their parents. don't bother.

yeah, a kid needs their parents. so that, they just like a puppet. being told to do this and that. or if not, you get nothing much in exchange.

i don't really bothers. since they're our parent. they gave us a lot of thing, they sacrifice a lot of thing. i'm appreciate them and love them. it's just, i can't  hold a feeling of  useless.  an emotion being a burden. it's like you're robot that need a power supply from your owner. you're not a free bird anymore.

he's not a young men anymore. to feel your power supply is an old cable, just like feel your ending will come soon. to feel like your own wing being hold, like feel you cannot move on when its break.

it's not a feeling of angry child. it's just a thought of blind teenagers. a feel of a weak human.